Thursday, August 23, 2007

Nairobi City Council laws

Apart from City Council laws we have heard about lately, it seems there are others we are not aware of. I was also surprised when I saw City council workers cleaning the tunnel at the Globe Cinema roundabout in Nairobi, this is on page 6 of the Nairobi Star newspaper. Pedestrians feared passing through this tunnel that used to be a hide out for Street boys. Now I hear its well lit and is secure but had filth. This also make me wonder where did the street boys go?

I received an email with more laws and wonder if part of it is a joke


It says:-

This is good news. Consider this!


1. Don?t sit any where other than the recreation places-Uhuru/
Jivanjee etc (some two STD chartered staff were picked sitting next to the
Aga Khan walk-one guy next to Hilton)

No more idling and politicking at the central park near Kenya Re Plaza. People should be doing something and not just sitting in public doing nothin. If you have nothing to do in town, go home and rest.

2. Don?t lean against any thing in town -flower vase/those walls
where flowers have been planted e.g. next to KCB.

If the NCC has planted flowers to make the city beautiful and also absorb all the useless carbon we emit in the city, another idiot goes to lean on that. Surely, fine that chap very heavily. Why lean on a flower vase? Again if you want to lean on something, go and try leaning on Kit Mikayi...it is strong enough and absorbs no carbon.


3. Don?t spit.

I love that one. I hate people who spit as if it is fun. Again lock that one up until all the saliva is dry. No water in the cells of course.


4. Other than newspapers don?t buy anything on the streets-these
guys will pick you and leave the hawker.

I have always said that the only way to end hawking is to arrest the buyer. Nobody will sit in the streets if no one is buying. If you want mitumba, Gikomba, Kawangware, Korogocho and River Road shops are well stocked. I visit them instead of buyiong a shirt without a collar on the streets. I love this one too. Keep the buyer in jail until all the hawkers see no more buyer and go back to the farms. We need vegetable.


5. Don?t dare touch the kerb when parking you car ?not only in town
(our car was towed from stima plaza).

When you touch the kerb, you not only remove the yellow paint, but also cause some scraches. Again the offending driver should not only be arrested but should also meet the cost of repairing the whole kerb length on that street. Cheers.


6. One driver was picked for not slowing down at a pedestrian
closing zone- You can hardly see the Zebra crossing with your naked eyes.

This is standard practice in the developed civilised world. So the city askari should not only arrest the driver but also make them to paint the crossing. Also to be done on the spot. And then pay the 'Zebra' which was crossing damages for causing panick The fine should be higher the closer you are to the CBD.

I think Kenya is now on the right track. I hope they are now jailing for life those who pee on the street. I loved this mail.


7. etc

By these time- which took less than 25mins the pick-up was full and heading
to Kamukunji!

Tell your friends to take care. And always have something on your cell
phone!

3 comments:

Ssembonge said...

I escorted a friend at night into town to catch a matatu and I was shocked by the sea of humanity that I saw in CBD at around 9 pm. I was surprised to see the streets full of hawkers. Until then, I had no idea that hawking was only allowed at night.

Sue said...

I don’t know if its allowed at night, I will find out. Unless they take advantage of city council askaris being absent at night.

But now with supermarkets operating 24hrs, we may see more activities in town operating 24hrs. Then city council askaris will start working in shifts. Chasing night hawkers and charging for parking at night.

Meet black singles said...

I do not know one single by law yet I have survived in Nairobi. Ok I know one...do not use your phone when crossing the road. Common sense as Kenyan drivers are mad on the raods.

Sociable

Kenya

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