Monday, September 17, 2007

Date rape

This is an issue that has been talked about for a long time, but I wonder if there anything like date rape. I decided to write my views and also asked a man about his views on this issue.

I believe this happens when a girl or a lady visits her boyfriend in his house, then one thing leads to another. To be exact, the lady is forced to accept a sexual act with the man against her will.

The issue was discussed on Classic Fm radio recently. Interestingly, a man called and asked what does a girl come to do in my house, to watch TV? Does she come to sleep on my bed because there is no bed in her house? This clearly demonstrates what men think when a lady friend visits them. They expect something to be done to the lady; and that is what has brought the lady. Surprisingly, that thing according to men is sex.The man knows that the lady expects that to be done and even when the lady says NO to it, the man would take that as a YES. Men believe that if the sex is not done, the lady will question their manhood and may take them as incapable. What a misunderstanding?

Ladies on the other hand does not know the mindset of their friends as they go visiting. Of course mature ones know this.A lady will visit a friend and expect to talk to him, visit places, discuss issues etc.The sex is at times not in her to do list during such visit. The lady does not consider sex as a compulsory act anytime she meets the man.

What should we do if these are the brothers and sisters that we have? Should the ladies stop to visit the sex- minded man till she is ready to have sex with him? Should the men have a changed mind that sex is not all that makes man-lady relationship?

I think we all have different answers to these questions. My take is that a lady needs to study her man and make a judgment when to visit. If you have a man who cannot take a NO for an answer once you have come, then simply don’t go if you are not ready for that.

The study does not mean that you call him and ask him; “I want to come darling, would you promise to behave today?” Men are very cunning, they promise this and do the other; no wonder they think a NO from a lady means YES. The study am talking about is where you go, say NO and mean it. If the man persist even after telling him NO and he leads you to do what you had said NO to, then that man is the one to visit on safe days when you are ready to say YES.

Men of course will not say NO. They are ready at all times. It is the readiness of the lady which is at stake.

Lastly I appeal to men please see your lady friend as a friend. It is not bad to make those advancements but once you have been told NO. It is that. You may beg but don’t force. This has led to unwanted pregnancies, break of relationships and date rapes that the ladies hate to remember.

1 comment:

Eve said...

I have always ask myself what it is that we women do to make men believe that no means yes. Maybe it is all the giggling. Click Here for tips on how to say no like you mean it.

Sociable

Kenya

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