Monday, July 16, 2007

The Kenyan Lady President

In my second post I wrote about "Why not a woman president this time"? On that note my husband had this vision of a Lady President.

I slept, dreamt and saw in a vision a lady candidate pronounced the president of Kenya after the much awaited year 2007 general election. I was not able to see clearly the face of the new president but she looked courageous and tough talking as the crowd cheer her in the ushering ceremony. Then it came a time for her to address the crowd and spell out what her government would be like. The speech was very long but I clearly recall the following key points;

· My government will increase maternity leave from two months to a minimum of four months and decrease men's annual leave from twenty one days a month to a maximum of two weeks in a year. This measure is aimed at reducing the idle time for men since they have nothing to do with their leave days. It has been found out that most men take leave time to cheat on their spouses and consequentially bring HIV/AID to their matrimonial homes.
· My government will…………..( can you come and hold for me this--------the president calls the guard (man) to hold her purse). Munanisikiliza kweli……….men are known to be poor listener but today you have no option (cheers and laugh follows). Yes my government will castrate any person especially men found to be promiscuous, rapists and incestuous. What would you do with a rebellious part of your body? The bible allows a permanent cut off but we will not do that in my government. We will only maim that part of body.
· Lastly my government intend to deal with Muriki……….no it is called Mungiki womaniously (slang). For sure this illegal group has been killing innocent sons and daughters of Kenyan woman and I can not allow this to continue. To start with I intend to change their name to mugoroki (meaning mad persons). This will give me a good legal frame work to eradicate the group. It appreas to me that mungiki flourishes well when cut. The more the last government killed of the group members the more cohesive it became. I have to change tactics this time round. Once the name is changed to mugoroki and those joining the group are declared mad people, I will have a legal right to confine them in mental asylums. I know many of you only know of Mathare mental hospital . I intend expand the mental asylums to cope up the increasing initiation oaths undertaken by this group. Ideally, at least ten such institutions will be in Muranga and the same number in Kabete.
· Men and gentle ladies ……….(loud laugh). Yes from now on we have to address ladies as gentle for the first time. Men were given a chance to be gentle but have chosen not to be. My government will make girls to marry late after they have completed their school (university) and men to marry as early as nine year so that we can balance the number of illiterate ladies to illiterate men currently. What that means is that more Mbuguas will marry more Wambuis and the scenario will be balanced.

And my government will……………………… the dream continues.......

Sociable

Kenya

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