Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What do you do when your husband marries another wife?

A relative of mine living in the rural area wants to walk out of her marriage because her husband has married another wife. When she called to ask for advice, she did not say whether the man is chasing her away.She only says the man is stressing her after marrying the other woman.

It is so easy for me to tell her to stay on because it is common for African men to marry more than one wife. So she is not the first one to be in that position. Furthermore she has four children and it would not be easy for her to go back to her parent’s home with them being jobless. On the other hand the man may decide his kids are not going anywhere, so she will always be worried about them and go back.

However when I put myself in her position, I may also opt out of such a relationship because I cannot imagine sharing my husband with another woman knowingly. Many women put up with such relationships because they find out too late, when the man kept the other wife in a different home or town, but in her case being in the rural area, they stay in the same home and it is humiliating. The man must be getting special treatment from this other woman because she is said a Ugandan while the man and the first wife are both Kenyans.For that reason he ignores the first one. In one of my posts I wrote about Ugandan women read here

I don’t know how to help her; I only tell her to follow her heart’s feelings.

The Kenyan and african woman is surely disadvantaged and in most cases confronted with tough decisions to make.

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