Weddings in Kenya

I attended a wedding this weekend and was not so enthusiastic because I have known the couple for sometime. It wasn’t a new wedding; they were formalizing their marriage. Though I consider this is a good marriage where the couple has stayed together and know each other properly so nothing can make them change their mind (but in most religions one would be condemned for staying together before officially getting married). New weddings are more interesting because people want to meet the couple.

The other thing that makes weddings interesting especially for us ladies is to see the wedding outfits, the couple and their party. People admire, some come to copy and others just sneer (jealousy). If it’s a new marriage, people from the groom’s side will approve, but in most cases disapprove of the lady the man is marrying. In rare cases people from the bride’s side will criticize the man. There is always whispers and murmuring during the service and at the reception.

I have attended many Christian weddings in my life, but now I feel they have turned to be a boring affair. I don’t see anything interesting whether it’s a Victorian wedding, a mass wedding, a marriage renewal or whatever form of wedding. Unless it’s a wedding of someone whom people felt would never get married or has taken too long and was branded senior Bachelor or “Bachelorette” or one where I have not been involved in the tedious planning and only need to attend with a gift.

I think before the nineties weddings in Kenya were more interesting; most couples organized weddings within their means. I don’t remember many pre-weddings or goat eating parties, which turn out to be harambees (fundraising) like they are so many now. This and many other things have made weddings a boring and exploiting affair for those participating. During my mum’s days as a young lady, the couple marrying and their parents would do everything, including the dresses for the bridal party.

Many couples now don’t wed within their means, even when they can afford a simple wedding; they go for a big one and solicit funds from friends and relatives who form a wedding committee. Some couples look for a bridal and groom team (best couple, maids, grooms men and matron) who are in good financial position to support their wedding. This same group is in the wedding committee; sometimes they also include the best couple and matrons kids in the line up. Making it very taxing for the best couple and those in the line up.

I have participated in many weddings as a maid of honor or best couple with my husband, sometimes the whole family. We were also in the committee and finance heavily so I know what it means. Our duty as the best couple doesn’t end there, the next one-year even up to 5 years, we are like counselors or crying shoulders for the couples when they run into marital and some cases financial difficulties. Some are very petty, that every couple goes through during the first 5 years, but the young couples sometimes cannot take the small issue lightly and even threatening to part ways after a few months of staying together.

So after attending another wedding (at least I was not in the bridal team but had some duty to foresee that things are in order), I think I have developed a wedding phobia, but I will still enjoy some like the ones I mentioned above.